I am losing my mind!
My kids? They are out of
control. Unless I’m right on top of
them playing hover-mom, nothing gets done and I’m stuck with finishing what’s
left after they've gone off to school.
With homework of my own, shuffling them to practices, games, and various
appointments I don’t have time for the messes, the screaming, and the
stress.
They yell. I
yell.
My throat hurts.
My head hurts.
They fight. We
battle.
Grey hairs grow.
Frown lines dig deeper.
And at the end of the day, I’m miserable because the
few precious minutes I do have to relax and enjoy my family is spent
reprimanding or decompressing in solitude because
I-just-cannot-take-another-second-of-it.
As this is all going on I am gathering what I feel
is great information for a career as a teacher.
The current class is focused on classroom management, and as we explore
strategies, a thought has occurred to me: How can I control a room full of
children if I cannot control the three at home?
After some thought, I have come up with a plan-
- A bilateral clip chart that allows for turn-around behavior
- Clear rules and expectations
- Defined consequences and rewards
I have
modeled my behavior board after the kids classroom teachers in color to avoid
confusion for the kiddies. In our
previous school, red was the extreme consequence color, but here they use it as
the top goal (I think the “you’re getting warmer” game). So, I’m keeping it uniform with school. With each child’s name on a clothes pin, all
I have to do is tell them to clip up or down; they are familiar with the
process. Our house rules may seem
similar to classroom rules in a few of the ways they are worded, but they fit
the purpose. Most strategies recommend keeping
rules to 5, but we have 6 or 7. I do not
think they will be confused by one more written rule.
Materials:
- Poster board (got it for $1 at Family Dollar)
- 7 different sheets of paper for behavior zones
- Printer or Marker
- Clothes Pins (one for each child)
- Puffy Paint or a Sharpie (for putting names on clothes pins)
- Duct Tape
- Scissors
- Binder Rings, Command Strips, & hole punch for hanging the board
- Rules, Consequences, and Rewards
Making the Rules –
It’s your house.
Make up whatever sets of rules, rewards, and consequences works for your
family. Here are ours:
House Rules
- Follow directions the first time they are given
- Treat others how you want to be treated
- Keep hands, feet, & objects to yourself
- No yelling or loud voices inside the house, car, & stores
- Always tell the truth
- Use good manners
Consequences
- Warning – think about it
- Time Out
- No TV or electronics for 30 minutes
- Parents choice (examples)
- Extra chores
- Loss of TV time for the day
- Lose weekend video game privileges
How to clip up:
- Read at least 20 minutes
- Do extra chores without being asked
- Random acts of kindness
Rewards - Fill the weekly sticker calendar with 5 or more days
of Awesome Choices and choose:
- The game for family game night/movie for movie night
- Extra library trip
- Special Craft
- 20 minutes of week night kindle time (after homework & chores are finished)
- Dish night pass – mom or dad will do one of your dish nights
*I am thinking of adding
a kids cash type thing where the kids can earn a dollar or five as a reward option. It’s fake money that they can redeem for our
contribution to special purchases such as helping pay for a toy or candy. You should probably know that I do not believe
in a weekly allowance. No one pays me to
perform responsibilities such as wash laundry, do dishes, cook, food, or sweep
the floor; these are all necessary tasks in life that you do for basic needs
and sanitary living and are a part of daily living and family contribution.
Once you have the rules and information that you
would like displayed, put the board together.
I also added a calendar that can reprinted each month to track the
colors earned for each child. Simply
place a dot with a marker by their name to keep up with daily colors and see if
they will earn a reward at the end of the week.
I hope this helps someone else keep their
sanity. I haven’t put my new plan to the
test yet, but will do an update in a few weeks.
