More Life with the Fockers

We have pet snakes.  I do not touch them.  Sometimes I observe their behaviors through the safety of glass while they are confined, but that is all that I am willing to do for them.  Oh, and purchase frozen dead mice for their consumption necessary for survival.  At the last visit for snake food, the following occurred:

Only my weird children talk to the snakes in the pet store using that voice most normal people reserve for kittens and puppies. After about the fifty-eleventh time of hearing "Mom, don't you love snakes?" I answered "Yes, they taste delicious." The conversation ended.

Madalyn snuck up on me and I caught her. 

M: Do you have eyes in the back of your head?

me: Yes. Yes I do.

M (very seriously): Are they inbisible? Are you an ALIEN?

me: Yes I am.

Making sure my children have all the proper childhood scars. :D


Sometimes, I succeed rather than fail-

Call from Jr-"Mom, where are you?"

me - home. why?

"Can you bring my football jersey. I need it for the pep rally."

(I have bed head and no face on) When is that?

"In 15 minutes." :/

Mom is ready in 5 AND has time to post about it on facebook. I.am.awesome!

Out of the Mouths of Babes...

I love sharing the craziness that comes out my children's  mouths.  Here are a few from just the past week or so:

Mt. Rushmore Part 1- (read it as if it were spoken all in one breath for the full affect)
Madalyn: Mom, did you know that Mount Rushmore blowed up? Yeah. It's in Dakota. And only Chinese people live there and other people that don't speak English. And Rushmore is a very dangerous place. Mount Rushmore and their eyes, there's a cave in them. There's a black hill. That means there's a cave. Do you know what kind of goats live at Mount Rushmore? *pause for reply* Oh yeah? And there are flying squirrels at Mount Rushmore. In Dakota.

Part 2, Day 2-
We are still discussing Mount Rushmore this morning. Thank you local Ford President's Day commercial. However, when Odie piped up and said it is in Washington DC, M got to school him. It's not often that little sister gets that chance.

Daily Madalynisms- 
M had to drop a color (behavior chart) and couldn't "remember" why. When I asked her teacher she said that M didn't want to play around the world. When she was told to participate she replied "I have stuff to do. I don't have time for this.". Wow. That one's all me.

When I told the kids to brush their teeth after dinner M complained "you always make us brush our teeth, like every day!". Mom "twice even.". M "yeah. Don't you think that's a little excessive?" :/. Big sassy pants words. Little 7 year old girl.
I'm in trouble.  We all are.

To Narnia!-
Madalyn is convinced that the bathtub drain is a portal. Opening the portal before she has exited the bath drastically changes things. Imagine what it would be like bathing a feral cat. Yeah, that.


Sigh.  And that's just a sampling of life at the Fockers.