"I'm not smart."

Each school year is a new struggle for Madalyn.  As she gets older, she is beginning to recognize that she is not working at the same pace as many of her peers.  Our school does something they call Step Up at the end of the school year where students spend the last two days of school with teachers in the next grade level as a means of introduction for the next school year and to help ease any stress.

As parents, we have had concerns about the academic expectations moving into third grade.  Concerns which have been discussed in IEP meetings and with her individual teachers, but not with Madalyn.  What she gets from us is support and encouragement in completing school work and life skills tasks.  However, this has not shielded her from cruelty and inaccurate self-assessments.  

Last night before bedtime,  Madalyn was distraught about becoming a third-grader.  She kept saying "I'm not smart!  I'm not smart!"  I assured her that she was very smart and told her many of us have to work extra hard at learning and doing new things, but she kept insisting she was not.  The final, heartbreaking statement was "Only the not smart girls go to Mrs. [redacted]'s class!"  (Re: special education resource).  I asked Madalyn who told her such a thing; who told her that if you go to Mrs. [redacted]'s it is because you are not smart?  She said no one, but somewhere this child has received the message that to to need and accept help means you are not smart.  

Perhaps, for her going into the third grade classrooms and being introduced to all the new things is overwhelming.  Perhaps, the teasing she gets from peers has conveyed part of this message.  Perhaps, one of her brothers has said something ugly enough to convince her she is not smart.  Or, perhaps she simply came to this conclusion on her own without outside influence.  

In any respect, my beautiful, loving, caring baby girl has labeled herself as "not smart"; which equates to stupid, inadequate, and unworthy.  When I look at her, I see none of these things.  I see talent, accomplishment, academic growth and achievement, love for God,  love for others... a person.  A person who feels, thinks, shares, experiences, grows, hopes, dreams, aspires, and has the potential to touch the lives of others in a meaningful way.

But how do you make them see it when something in this world is convincing them otherwise?

Wrap them in love and support.  Empower them.  

"I don't know how you do it."

"I don't know how you do it."

I hear this statement a lot and never really know how to respond because the truth is, I just get up and muddle through the best that I can.  This is not one of those stay-at-home mom vs. work-outside-the-home mom supermom types of debates.  I really don't get all that garbage anyhow.  Parenting is challenging no matter what.

Back to the point.  My husband travels a lot for work, which leaves me to balance the needs of the children, church, and school on my own quite often.  This means getting Big C to and from baseball when his school is about 45 minutes from mine and I'm sitting in class, taking little c to the allergist, orthodontist trips, calls from the school nurse, homework, volunteer commitments at church, finishing my homework, feeding the hungry children, laundry, etc.

Some days, I fail.  Like today.

I needed last night to relax since I hadn't done so since last Thursday.  Part of that means we had hot dogs for dinner and I didn't check backpacks.  After looking over little c's homework this morning, I noticed several things that needed corrected.  As he sat reducing fractions, I was taming his wild hair.  I sent him to brush his teeth as the alarm to let us know it was time to go outside and wait for the bus went off (yes, this is needed in our house) only to notice as he returned that there was a giant stain on his pants.  On his dirty pants because he had no clean jeans that fit this morning and I told him to just put on anything.  I washed it off as best I could and sent him on his way.
So, to recap.
I do it by:

• collapsing in an attempt to decompress about once a week
• putting off some tasks until the last minute to do so
• attempting to still be a good mom and help with homework, even if it is while sitting next to the cereal bowl that hasn't yet been cleared from the table
• multitasking by combing little c's hair while he corrects math problems and Madalyn's while she brushes her teeth
• sending my child to school in dirty pants with mustard wiped off the leg hoping that no one will notice
• and sitting here wishing I was better at balancing all of it.

I'm not going above and beyond; I'm simply keeping afloat.  *I* don't do it.  We all do: husband, wife, Big C, little c, and M.  And we try our best, make mistakes, and fall short.  

Coffee Creamer made with Stevia

I'm trying to cut sugar anywhere I can and went on the hunt for DIY coffee creamer recipes.  All I found was sugar, sugar, and more sugar.  With a little fine tuning and mix-n-match, I managed to recreate one of my favorite coffee creamers: Nestle's Caramel & Coconut (Samoa) GS Cookie creamer.  

Stevia-sweetened Caramel & Coconut Coffee Creamer:

• 4 tablespoons stevia chocolate syrup 
• 6 tablespoons stevia caramel sauce
• base creamer recipe

I began with this basic coffee creamer recipe.  Not wanting the added sugar of sweetened condensed milk, and looking for that coconut flavor, I went with coconut milk.  I used unsweetened/first pressing coconut milk, not reduced fat.

Modified cream base recipe: (Note that the creamer base is the LAST step in mixing your creamer)

• (1) 14-oz can unsweetened/first pressing coconut milk

• 1-3/4 c. milk/cream (I used the remainder of the heavy whipping cream from the caramel recipe + enough milk to make 1-3/4 c.)

Now that we have a base recipe, I needed to figure out the flavors.  I found chocolate syrup and caramel sauce recipes using stevia! (original sources linked)

I cut both recipes in half.
Stevia-sweetened chocolate syrup -

• 1/4 c. cocoa powder

• 1/4 c. water

• 1 tsp. stevia

• 2 Tbs. honey (the original recipe called for agave, but I really dislike the after taste of it)

• 2 tsp. vanilla extract

Directions: Mix the cocoa and water in a saucepan over medium-low heat. Whisk in the stevia and honey/agave nectar.  Remove from heat.
Caramel sauce -

• 1/4 c. stevia

• 1/2 Tbs. water

• 3 Tbs. butter (melted)

• 1/3 c. heavy whipping cream

Directions: Combine stevia granules and 1 Tbsp. water in a heavy, 2 to 3 qt. saucepan and turn heat to moderately high.  
Stir continuously until all of the water evaporates and your sugar substitute begins to caramelize and turn and amber/brown color. Approximately 5 minutes.  Add Melted Butter.  Once your mixture has caramelized, immediately, but carefully add your melted butter and continue to stir. Stir in Whipping Cream.  Remove from heat. Wait several seconds and carefully stir in your whipping cream.  Stir completely.

I had extra chocolate and caramel.  

I simply froze it in an ice cube tray for the next time. 

1 full cube = 2 Tbs.

Once syrup and sauce have been made.  Pour 6 Tbs of each in a 1-quart container.  The original recipe called for 2, and on my first batch I used 3, but the flavor just wan't right.  Pour in can of well shaken coconut milk, place lid on container and shake like crazy.  Measure out remaining whipping cream (I had about 1 cup) and enough milk to equal 1-3/4 c.  Add to bottle and shake more.  Viola!
Stevia-sweetened Caramel & Coconut Coffee Creamer:

• 4 tablespoons stevia chocolate syrup 

• 6 tablespoons stevia caramel sauce

• base creamer recipe

Baby Bibs and Burp Cloths!

Two crafty posts in one day!  What?!  It's okay, after this I probably will neglect the blog for at least another 6 months.  Truth is, you're probably Jules, Nae, or one of the DIC's.

My sister is expecting and I made her these cute bibs and burp cloths as a shower gift.  Hopefully she doesn't come looking before February 1st because then the surprise will be ruined.

I used soft flannel and white terrycloth.  The burp cloths are a basic rectangle (finished product measures 9"x21").  Here is a tutorial for both rectangular and contoured burp cloths. 

I would love to direct you to the blog from which I obtained the basic bib pattern, but I forgot.  I simply re-traced the template that I used and will upload it as a pdf file.

Have you seen those cute tie-shaped bibs?  I searched and searched and could only find sellers of the finished product, not a pattern.  So, I ended up making my own.

For the two necktie bibs, I sewed so that they would have to be turned out and have a finished look.  For the camo, I simply used 2 layers of flannel with a layer of green in between (3 layers total).  Then, left a thick edge outside of the stitching and trimmed for a frayed look (picture below).  All 3 bibs are finished with velcro fasteners.

PDF bib templates:

• Basic Bib  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxeIgkrynFClVGhDSjZVQnhFNjQ/edit?usp=sharing
• Necktie embellishment for basic or store-bought bibs  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxeIgkrynFClQ3ZoSGQtbXdqLUU/edit?usp=sharing
• Necktie bib pattern (2 pages, connect at dots)  https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxeIgkrynFClUlhkNHpvQ05FbTQ/edit?usp=sharing

It's the 25th... of January!

Every year we create family craft ornaments for the Christmas tree.  I started well before Christmas.  Like 2 weeks.  We completed the task on January 8th.  It is now January 25th, and entire month past Christmas, and I am sharing how to do this fun craft.  

Hey, it's never too early to plan for next year.  Right?

I present to you our lovely snowman family:

Left to right: daddy, mommy, brother, other brother, & baby sister.

Cute, huh?  (the ugly orange 'feet' is actually silly putty I used to make these rolly guys stand up)

List of supplies:

• Styrofoam balls in 3 sizes (1", 1.5", & 2")
• Hot glue gun w/ glue
• Sticks - walk outside!
• Toothpicks & orange paint
• Glitter gems
• Tube of strong glue (not hot glue gun - we don't want to burn our fingers!)
• Scrap fabric, doll clothes, craft embellishments, etc.
• Snow paint (recipe below)
• paintbrush

Easy peasy snow paint recipe: 

• School glue (white is best, but I used both clear & white)
• Can of shaving cream
• Mix equal parts.  Done!

Pictures of the progress:

   

(I'm not really sure what's happening here.  The file keeps turning upside down.  Just turn your head over to read.  You can do that, right?)

Experiment with paint recipe until you get a fluffy, "gummy" mixture.  It needs to feel almost too thick.  We started out thinner, but I liked the result of the thicker mixture better.  

Find a creative way to stand snowmen up for drying.  The snow paint will appear lumpy (middle 3).  It smooths as it dries.

Paint a toothpick orange and cut off for the carrot nose.

Gems for eyes, mouth, and buttons.  Strong glue.  Tweezers so I didn't glue myself to, well, everything.

 a basic hat pattern

My finished snowmommy! 

(handstitch a loop of thin ribbon on back of scarf for hanging as an ornament)

The boys got creative with black feathers as hair.  

Never mind the fact that I am the only one in the house with dark hair and everyone else is a towhead.  

For an end-result paint comparison, note that Madalyn's (pink) was done with thinner paint and C's (back) was done with thicker paint.

Misbehavior Overload! - Home Clip Chart

I am losing my mind!  My kids?  They are out of control.  Unless I’m right on top of them playing hover-mom, nothing gets done and I’m stuck with finishing what’s left after they've gone off to school.  With homework of my own, shuffling them to practices, games, and various appointments I don’t have time for the messes, the screaming, and the stress. 

They yell.  I yell. 

My throat hurts.  My head hurts.

They fight.  We battle. 

Grey hairs grow.  Frown lines dig deeper.

And at the end of the day, I’m miserable because the few precious minutes I do have to relax and enjoy my family is spent reprimanding or decompressing in solitude because I-just-cannot-take-another-second-of-it. 

As this is all going on I am gathering what I feel is great information for a career as a teacher.  The current class is focused on classroom management, and as we explore strategies, a thought has occurred to me: How can I control a room full of children if I cannot control the three at home?  After some thought, I have come up with a plan-

1.      A bilateral clip chart that allows for turn-around behavior
2.      Clear rules and expectations
3.      Defined consequences and rewards

 I have modeled my behavior board after the kids classroom teachers in color to avoid confusion for the kiddies.  In our previous school, red was the extreme consequence color, but here they use it as the top goal (I think the “you’re getting warmer” game).  So, I’m keeping it uniform with school.  With each child’s name on a clothes pin, all I have to do is tell them to clip up or down; they are familiar with the process.  Our house rules may seem similar to classroom rules in a few of the ways they are worded, but they fit the purpose.  Most strategies recommend keeping rules to 5, but we have 6 or 7.  I do not think they will be confused by one more written rule.

Materials:

•     Poster board (got it for $1 at Family Dollar)
•     7 different sheets of paper for behavior zones
•     Printer or Marker
•     Clothes Pins (one for each child)
•     Puffy Paint or a Sharpie (for putting names on clothes pins)
•     Duct Tape
•     Scissors
•     Binder Rings, Command Strips, & hole punch for hanging the board
•     Rules, Consequences, and Rewards

Making the Rules –

It’s your house.  Make up whatever sets of rules, rewards, and consequences works for your family.  Here are ours:

House Rules

•     Follow directions the first time they are given
•     Treat others how you want to be treated
•     Keep hands, feet, & objects to yourself    
•     No yelling or loud voices inside the house, car, & stores
•     Always tell the truth
•     Use good manners

Consequences

•     Warning – think about it
•     Time Out 
•    No TV or electronics for 30 minutes
•     Parents choice (examples)
•    Extra chores
•    Loss of TV time for the day
•    Lose weekend video game privileges

How to clip up:

•     Read at least 20 minutes
•     Do extra chores without being asked
•     Random acts of kindness

Rewards - Fill the weekly sticker calendar with 5 or more days of Awesome Choices and choose:

• The game for family game night/movie for movie night
• Extra library trip
• Special Craft
• 20 minutes of week night kindle time (after homework & chores are finished)
• Dish night pass – mom or dad will do one of your dish nights

*I am thinking of adding a kids cash type thing where the kids can earn a dollar or five as a reward option.  It’s fake money that they can redeem for our contribution to special purchases such as helping pay for a toy or candy.  You should probably know that I do not believe in a weekly allowance.  No one pays me to perform responsibilities such as wash laundry, do dishes, cook, food, or sweep the floor; these are all necessary tasks in life that you do for basic needs and sanitary living and are a part of daily living and family contribution. 

Once you have the rules and information that you would like displayed, put the board together.  I also added a calendar that can reprinted each month to track the colors earned for each child.  Simply place a dot with a marker by their name to keep up with daily colors and see if they will earn a reward at the end of the week.

I hope this helps someone else keep their sanity.  I haven’t put my new plan to the test yet, but will do an update in a few weeks.  

Port-a-potties - convenient? I.think.not.

Envision this - you are at a youth sports practice and the youngest child needs to pee.  The only thing available is a blue plastic outhouse.  The small child gives you the "Are you kidding me?" look when you tell her that is where she must potty and refuses to go.  Upon seeing her do the tee-tee wiggle dance, you insist she go to the disgusting capsule of refuse.
When she enters said capsule, she immediately bolts back out because inside is a spider so small you have to risk touching something to actually see it.  Knowing the child will make puddles if she does not go soon, you force the issue.
Once inside, the screaming begins.  Not small screams.  Not unintelligible screams.  Oh no, not from this one!  Blood-curdling, hair frizzing, horror flick shrieks of terror "Ahhhhh.  Ow.  It hurts.  Noooo!  Nooo!  It hurts!  Owie!  Noooooo! Ahhhh!  Eeeee!"  That's right, it's so ugly it hurts.  Just the thought of a pinhead-sized spider is painful.  Or maybe it's the public plastic.  Who knows.
And what is going on outside?  As mom stands at the door to keep the small child from bolting outside with her pants down, people are staring at her like she's imprisoned the child inside.