Thursday, August 29, 2013

Port-a-potties - convenient? I.think.not.

Envision this - you are at a youth sports practice and the youngest child needs to pee.  The only thing available is a blue plastic outhouse.  The small child gives you the "Are you kidding me?" look when you tell her that is where she must potty and refuses to go.  Upon seeing her do the tee-tee wiggle dance, you insist she go to the disgusting capsule of refuse.
When she enters said capsule, she immediately bolts back out because inside is a spider so small you have to risk touching something to actually see it.  Knowing the child will make puddles if she does not go soon, you force the issue.
Once inside, the screaming begins.  Not small screams.  Not unintelligible screams.  Oh no, not from this one!  Blood-curdling, hair frizzing, horror flick shrieks of terror "Ahhhhh.  Ow.  It hurts.  Noooo!  Nooo!  It hurts!  Owie!  Noooooo! Ahhhh!  Eeeee!"  That's right, it's so ugly it hurts.  Just the thought of a pinhead-sized spider is painful.  Or maybe it's the public plastic.  Who knows.
And what is going on outside?  As mom stands at the door to keep the small child from bolting outside with her pants down, people are staring at her like she's imprisoned the child inside.

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